Harry Potter au where Harry didn’t lose being a parsletongue and Albus buys a snake as a pet one year because snakes are cool and one day just walks in on Harry and the snake having a deep conversation

Albus is 17 and loses his virginity in his room and forgets the snake talks to his dad and when Harry gets home the snake is all like OH MY GOSH YOU’D NEVER GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHAT HAPPENED

(via 70sarcasmandbowties)

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reblog if your url represents who you really are 

I am really Putin’s girlfriend

then we have a problem

I can explain it

(via stochastic-acrostics)

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Can you imagine Leela during the Time War though

Fighting Daleks is all fine and dandy and no trouble at all

The problem is the people who are on her side

Especially when it all starts going badly

Like four times a day someone walks past her and says, “Hi, Leela,” and she has to run after them and ask who they are because they’ve regenerated

Some of the less charitable Time Lords turn it into a game

"See how long you have to talk to the savage before she twigs"

Eventually Narvin starts just muttering “There goes so-and-so” under his breath to her whenever they’re together

Then when they’re not together because it becomes a reflex for him

(People give him very odd looks)

Then one day Narvin regenerates

And is really rather hurt that she doesn’t immediately recognise him because she always recognises the Doctor

And she is like, yes but the Doctor went from a scarf to cricket whites to whatever the fuck that thing was to hat to frock coat

He stands out

The only thing you have done is to get slightly longer robes

Fuck it I’m gonna go kill me some Daleks

At least they don’t expect me to tell the difference between individual Daleks

And she storms off in a huff

Slaughters like half a Dalek fleet

Comes home and Narvin is still sulking because apparently his new body is good at sulking

So she sulks back

This continues for about a week

And then she realises he’s still doing the thing

Muttering people’s names as they go past because it became habit and he kept it up when his brain rewired

That’s how she will always know who Narvin is

(All the others are still assholes though)

(via leda74)

Doctor: Do you ever look in the mirror and think, “I’ve seen that face before?”
Barney: Yes.
Doctor: Really? When?
Barney: Well, every time I look in the mirror.
Doctor: Oh, yes, yes, yes. Fair enough. Good point. My face is fresh on, though…

(Source: throughwho, via stochastic-acrostics)

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(Source: kingarthurofgeek, via stochastic-acrostics)

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How I imagine it went down

C.S. Lewis: I made you a character in my book!
J.R.R. Tolkien: OMG me too!
Lewis: You're the man who created the wardrobe that leads to Narnia!
Tolkien: ...
Lewis: Who am I?
Tolkien: A tree
Lewis: ............
Tolkien: But, like, a cool tree
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Images from Doctor Who series 8 episode ‘Robot of Sherwood’ premiering Saturday, September 6th on BBC America!

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What exactly would it mean to be a spiritual sequel to The King’s Daemons?

(via lesserjoke)

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No, but imagine:

  • Adric shows up at Missy’s garden and starts making maths calculus on the walls
  • Amy Pond shows up and finds the garden weirdly familiar with Apalapucia
  • Multiple Clara Oswald echoes appear and Missy’s goes “what the fuck”
  • Jack Harkness is always passing by and Missy’s like “Why do you keep going away and coming back” and he’s like “Well it’s complicated”
  • The Brigadier trying to boss everyone around
  • Kamelion, basically, doing weird stuff, as always.

Katarina walks in and asks Missy if she’s Persephone.

Sara Kingdom tries to shoot her.

Rory appears, Missy tells him he’s in heaven, and then he disappears again. Amy follows him.

Eldrad shows up and immediately vanishes because Eldrad must live.

Reblog because some of these are great. But I really do think Missy only collects people the Doctor is responsible for killing.

This just in: fruit has gotten too big. I’ve got some apples here from a local farmers’ market, and they are little bitty things about half the size of my supermarket-bought nectarines, and they are SUCH A PLEASURE to eat because 1) I can take a bite without mashing my nose into the fruit, 2) I can take little bites instead of huge ones yet still get my teeth in at enough of an angle to break the skin, 3) the one side didn’t turn brown while I was still working my way around the other side, and 4) I finished the whole thing without getting bored. Fellow millennials, we don’t know what we’re missing.

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honestly it really infuriates me that the doctor and clara look at a dalek talking about how much it wants to commit genocide and decide it is a “good dalek,” a “moral” dalek because it switched the species it wants to kill

and then the moral lesson is that daleks aren’t all bad they can be good if they want to murder the right species

instead of, like, how genocide is not an estimable activity

I thought that was the message?
That the doctor is filled with hate and rage, that he is ‘a good Dalek’?

OHHHHHHMG it’s a pun. I completely missed the pun. Nine was once told “You would make a good Dalek” as in “you possess the capacity to fit right in with the quintessential description of a Dalek” (hatred, ruthlessness) if you choose. Twelve was told “You are a good Dalek.” As in “a Dalek that means well but still has Dalek instincts (hatred/ruthlessness) at its core and therefore is not actually something to be approved of—that’s you right now.”

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